Don’t Hit, Girls

Published February 10, 2017 by paulandpaulasbooks

Different Man Once Again

Monday, January 2nd, 2017 – 3:35 am

“My grandfather helped raise me and he would read to us from the Bible about Joseph. How this man was privileged to love and raise a child not his own. There is a reason I didn’t really care when I heard Sonny or even Ben died. When my grandfather passed away, I lost the only man who ever loved me as a father.”

“When your father wouldn’t back me up and told me to quit if I didn’t like my boss hitting on me, I got depressed. I started drinking a lot more again. When your dad hit me again in the face, I gathered up and tried to sneak you three boys across state lines. They tracked our location based on my using the home phone number to charge my calls to aunt Linda in New York. The sheriff pulled us…

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Grounded

Published December 10, 2016 by paulandpaulasbooks

Friday, December 9th, 2016 – 9:44 am It is day four of my cruel banishment and unreal punishment. Or is it five? I don’t even know anymore. The pain and the confusion have blurred them …

Source: Grounded

Great Pretender

Published December 3, 2016 by paulandpaulasbooks

Different Man Once Again

Friday December 2nd, 2016 – 4:19 pm

“You were always the most like your father, both in sense of humor as well as… as well as… you know… you know what I am trying to say…”

“Personality?” I ask.

“Yes!” she replies.

“I had to be. I studied him from four years old on. I tried do the things he liked, at first to get on his good side, and then to excel at them, just to prove I was better than both him and Paul, whether it was guitar or chess or sense of humor or winning arguments.”

“Why?” my mother asks.

It’s 1:30 am in my cold, stinky Oregon garage. It is the far more obscene 4:30 am in New York. I just got done telling her that when I am at my sickest and cannot even tell who I am talking to, my voice gets very…

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Mind Sounds

Published October 15, 2016 by paulandpaulasbooks

read before he stops writing

Different Man Once Again

Wednesday, October 12th, 2016 – 7:19 pm

Waves come in waves, for days upon days and then nothing. The longest stretches of nothing because you can’t keep on feeling. 

Nobody could forever.

Slap a hand or a face or beat a beaten heartbeat just enough times and it bruises, but the defenseless feebly defends itself with stretches of nothingness and numbness. I used to control it. Hell, I could schedule it.

The pain and the void were both mine to command.

Now I just peer and peek, the bruised and numb spectator, locked in the wrong grungy movie house, strapped to the wrong filthy theater seat. The wrong waves sneak up unscheduled, unsolicited, uninvited. The waves of waves, filthy waves of wrong.

Stop! This is all wrong! I never ordered this!

“Everything happens for a reason. God is forcing your attention.”

Lovely. Just like clockwork. Orange you glad He did?

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